Red R. Neck -- FOUND


 It recently came to light that a certain sage by the name of Red R. Neck, a frequent contributor to the now defunct publication The West Virginia Wrestler, might still be alive and well somewhere in the Mountain State.

As it turns out, Coach Archer was the editor of the aforementioned publication and kind of the Clark Kent for Red. Thanks to some sleuthing on the part of Coach Archer, Red R. Neck has emerged from his literary sabbatical and offers up his first commentary in quite some number of years.

Red is WW2 veteran and lives somewhere in West Virginia with his wife of 49 years, He has cattle, goats and pigs along with several, dogs on his 243 acre farm. He spends most of his time reading Classic Illustrated Comic Books and farming. Well, that's enough about Red; let's hear what he has to say.

What Ever Happened to Red R. Neck?

Red R. Neck -- FOUND
The Red Neck
by Red R. Neck
11/04/05
I want to thank you all for the positive comments that you made concerning my columns. It is hard to introduce a new generation to my thoughts.

Well, let me see what has happen lately. I have been pretty busy getting ready of deer season. I’m not losing too many arrows for an old person. The leaves are staying on the trees longer than I have ever seen them this year.

Well, here is my comment on the news.

I hear these people saying the in of the world is coming cause of the weather. I think one time at least a few hundred years ago, it rained 40 days and 40 nights.

I also hear that we are upsetting people by the nicknames for our sports teams. Listen, no one will remember Indians in a few hundred years, if we don’t have something to let people see what they looked like. I want to meet the Lion, Tiger, Buffalo, Ram, Eagle or Horse that complained. The only Bear I ever met who talked was Smokey.

I saw a guy the other day at the general store, must really be important. He had all this stuffed hooked on his belt. I said, "Buddy what is all this stuff?" He told me a Beeper, a cell phone and GNC or whatever so kind of mapping thing. Who in the heck is this guy talking to and where is he going that he needs a mapping machine. I would just be happy if they would make some machine that when I go to the mall and can’t find the truck, it would seen me when I came out, a thing would top up and yell "Hey, Red over here."

I went over by the local high school on the way to the store. The kids are wearing some kind of hearing aids. They all have two earphones in their ears and they still can’t hear when you talk to them. I was trying to get someone to help me put up the hay. None of them could hear me. The things must not work every well.

Everyone is crying about the price of gas. What about the price of water. I looked in the store and it was a dollar a little bottle. It don’t cost me nothing from the well. I went over to make sure the river wasn’t running dry, I thought maybe I had missed something. People must not mind paying for it, because every one was carrying a bottle around with them. Guess there is a water shortage in the city. Maybe the next time I go I’ll get out the old canteen.

I was lookin at my dogs the other day. They are just glad to be with me. I really don’t know what I have done to deserve so much respect, but no one else jumps 3 feet in the air when I come home. Its time to get the old bow out and head to my tree stand, I need to feed the goats first. I hope the rats have not eaten all the corn. I not God, but Noah could have left the rats off the Ark and I wouldn’t been disappointed.

Quotes

The weather is God’s way of letting us know he is still in charge.

Women are undefeated.

If you don’t like to read, you are missing the past and the future doesn’t look so good.

It really only matters how you wrestle when your tired.

When it is all over, you really go through life competing with yourself, it is up to you if you lose.

Good Night Sam where ever you are,

Red R. Neck

Return to the WV-Mat front page